last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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