Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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