Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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