OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
