saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
