So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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