Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
