And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
