Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
