no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
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If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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