i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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