Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
