Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
