I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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