it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
