didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
