I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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