Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
