I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
