What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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