WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
