Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize