The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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