So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
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just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
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Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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