absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
