just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
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Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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