That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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