Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
