Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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