That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
