I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
