she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
