Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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