I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
