If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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