You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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