i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
