I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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