we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize