Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
