I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
