she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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