i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Boobs speak an international language.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
