ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
