I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
