Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
