I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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