omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
