I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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