is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
