Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
