Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
