He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Life without a bra equals bliss.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
