I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize