Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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