I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
