i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
