I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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