I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
