We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
