I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize