careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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