i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
