if i can run in heels then i can drive
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
