Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
