You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Randomize
