I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize