Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
