just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize