Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
